Analyze and roast
your spending habits.
Enter your monthly spending. Get a brutally funny — but genuinely useful — roast of your money habits. No judgment. Okay, a little judgment.
We don't hold back.
Here's what past users got when they let us take a look at their spending.
"Your kitchen is basically decorative. You're in a committed relationship with delivery fees, and the fees are winning."
"You don't have subscriptions. You have recurring emotional support charges. There are seven of them. You use two."
"Your morning routine has a stronger budget than your savings account. Respectfully, the coffee needs a CFO."
"Your cart history reads like an identity crisis with a credit card. You don't spend money. You release it into the wild."
"Interest is currently your most loyal subscriber. Your minimum payments are doing all the cardio. The rest of you is not."
"Honestly? We came here to roast someone and you've disarmed us completely. Saving 22% of your income is genuinely alarming in a good way."
How it works
Three steps between you and a financially honest mirror.
Fill out a quick form with your monthly income and expenses. Takes about 2 minutes. No bank login, no personal data harvesting.
Our roast engine analyzes your spending ratios, calculates your Wallet Discipline Score, and serves up a brutally honest (and funny) assessment.
Every roast comes with actionable, specific suggestions to improve your score — without becoming a spreadsheet-obsessed hermit.
Finance advice that doesn't put you to sleep.
We built the tool we wished existed when we were blissfully ignoring our bank statements.
Not painfully corporate. Real humor. The kind that makes you laugh at yourself instead of closing the tab.
Every roast includes real, specific suggestions — not just "spend less." Because obviously, thanks.
Send your roast to a friend. Compare scores. Start arguments. Use it as a conversation starter at awkward family dinners.
No account, no upload, no waiting. Enter numbers, get roasted, leave slightly embarrassed but motivated.
Tools we actually recommend.
After your roast, here are the tools that'll help you fix the damage. No trash recommendations here.
Get a spending roast in your inbox every month.
Tips, roast templates, and spending insights — delivered monthly. We promise not to spam. We're already roasting your wallet, we don't need to roast your inbox too.
No spam. Unsubscribe anytime. We're broke in time, not ethics.
Ready to face the truth?
2 minutes. No sign-up. Free forever. Your bank account will thank you. Eventually.
🔥 Roast My Spending Now